I have been very burdened lately over the things that people are willing to allow to come out of their mouths. I, myself, have struggled with this greatly, my whole life. I, in my human nature, have always thought myself to "have a right". As a teenager/young adult I had a right to speak my opinions on things, I had a right to have what I wanted out of life, because I was living this life just like everyone else. Well, guys and gals, this has definitely been one of my major downfalls as well as one of my greatest regrets in my life. I missed half of my life. Half of my soon to be 35 years of life on this earth has been wasted on me. What a worthless reason to spread so much hate and disgrace into an already crumbling world.
I am sure that my burden lies within my remorse and though I still struggle with fits of anger, in which Satan takes the opportunity to attack others through my words, I am thankful that God allows me to gain wisdom from my weaknesses. There are times that I really don't hear what comes out of my mouth until it's out and others that I calculate the repercussions of what I am saying and consider my words. I am saddened to admit that many times I chose my words, knowing the response just because I am evil at heart.
But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. -Matthew 15:18(ESV)
Why is it that I actually CHOOSE to break someone down instead of using the words that God can equip me with to build up if I would only search my heart first. It's because Satan has the power to make us recount all of the past pains that we have sustained and the moment that we let go of our control of our anger is the EXACT moment that we allow him to rush in and take over. It's instant, have you wondered how an argument can go from 0-60 in .5, that's how. It's like breathing out and inhaling all of his demons to take over heart, mind and body. And boy are they toxic, so toxic to every part of our being and if we are unable to discern what is happening when we lose control it can even have the potential to damage our relationship with our God and Creator. Thankfully, His grace and mercy are never ending and we are cleansed faster than we were polluted. You see where I fall short is where my God picks me up every time, but what I need to learn from His example is that grace will always win, regardless of what my flesh thinks and feels.
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as good for building up, as it fit the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. -Ephesians 4:29(ESV)
Breaking someone down does not yield the rewarding feeling that we think it is going to yield when contemplating what to say. We need to resist that feeling, THAT is NOT God talking to you, just so that you can get the zinger you are entitled to. God would NEVER (and I am not in the business of speaking on God's behalf), but nonetheless I know that He would never give you words to destroy for our own benefit. Instead what it does is create balls of hate within us that tears US down, piece by piece until we are nothing but a pile of ashes.
Wow. That tangent was unintended, I guess you can see what kind of a day I have had thus far....
I digress, my original intent for this post was the outpouring of hate on people by people that don't even know them! And comment after comment building on the hate of the one before, for reasons that are so stinking minute to the real war at hand that I can see it is only Satan's way of distracting to allow others to breathe him in so that he can be in control. I am so heartbroken over what they cannot see, that they really, surely cannot know what they are doing. I am so sad that I, myself choose to allow him to have this control over me from time to time when I KNOW what I am doing. God allows these experiences to humble us, for reasons we cannot always see. I stay on that side of the ring most days but will take the humility any day over the hate, I have been there and I hated it.
The heart of the wise is in that house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. -Ecclesiastes 7:4(ESV)
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