Pondering

Last night was pretty rough for me, thought for a moment that we might be heading to the hospital at some point soon, maybe not last night, but sooner than later.  It started around 10:30 or 11, Chris had left me asleep on the couch because lately the bed just hasn't been that comfortable, I woke up having slight contractions.  As I tried to sleep through them, they progressively got worse.  I thought that if I went to bed they might be easier to sleep through, that definitely didn't work.  So as I walked the house timing (and thinking about everything that IS NOT prepared for this precious little one) they finally slowed down and I was able to lay down and get a bit of rest. 

This morning I am a little sore, between the heartburn, contractions and the charlie horse I got every time I had a contraction throughout the night, I guess anyone would be.  Chris said that he is fine with being a single parent as long as I could keep a set of eyes on Addie in here as she plays so that he can get some stuff done around the house. 

As I sit here immobile at the moment watching Addie play just as sweet as can be by herself I can't help but remembering being a child her age.  My Grandma, for those of you that never had the wonderful pleasure of meeting her, had Parkinson's Disease so for the entirety of the time her and I spent on this earth together she couldn't walk on her own.  Her and Grandaddy Hanes kept me a lot when I was little so most days it was just her sitting on her divan watching me as I played around.  I remember being so little but able to climb up on the sofa beside her as she ate(or should I say shared) her breakfast.  I think about although she couldn't get into the floor and play with me, how much joy it must have been to be able to just sit there and watch the innocence of a child transform before her eyes.  This is what I am feeling now watching my little angel bring so much joy to my life just by being able to sit here as she plays.  I then wonder if my Grandma knew how much joy that she brought to my life just by sitting there with me.  I didn't need her to be in the floor with me, I just needed her presence to let me know that I meant the world to her and her to me.  As a matter of fact in all of my 28 years I don't believe that the fact that she could never "really play" with me had ever crossed my mind. 

I can't wait till that day when I can see my Grandma again and on that same day will be the first time she will ever meet my children face to face!  Oh how amazed she would be if she were here today to sit with me and watch this bit of perfection as she fills our world with so much joy and amazement!