I find myself getting more and more depressed as Addie's first birthday gets closer to date. As proud as I am of my sweet baby, I really can't believe that a year ago we were just moments away from meeting the most amazing little girl ever! As I say I am getting depressed, I feel that I must clarify I wouldn't give it back for the world!! I am not depressed in a bad way but it is so hard to let go of being able to feed her, because she feeds herself now. Quietly bathing her oh so gently, because she wants to kick and play and splash now. Holding her so that she just cradles in one arm, because she is so long now that she drapes across me and off the other side. Laying with her in the floor just staring into her eyes, because now all she wants to do is get on top of me and jump up and down. This past year has brought us unimaginable joy, just watching this little angel turn into her whole own self. How does she know to wave when she hears someone say hey and then say it back in response. Why does she know exactly which toy in the toy box she wants, then stands there until she has removed every other toy keeping her away from attaining the toy that she wants. How is it that when she hears bye bye she blows a kiss, or to giggle back at you because you were giggling at her for doing something cute, and she knew it. (make sense?) What an amazing creation, this life that we were given to mold, oh so beautiful, oh so fragile. What a humbling gift. I am sad to see the past go, but eager to see the future come, stuck in the middle, and so in love. I guess you could just call me mother.
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